Back in middle school, when our U.S. history teacher was giving us the rundown on the War of 1812, he noted to us that America — not once, but three times — tried invading Canada and annexing it from the British.
We failed — alas, our teacher joked, because maybe Canada could have been our 51st state.
Well, according to reports out of Mar-a-Lago, after a Friday meeting between President-elect Donald Trump and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, the offer is still on the table. In fact, Trudeau can be governor if he wants.
According to Fox News, the joke was made after Trudeau claimed the additional tariffs on Canada proposed by the incoming Trump administration would be a death blow to the economy of America’s hat.
“The president-elect told the prime minister if Canada cannot fix the border issues and trade deficit, he will levy a 25 percent tariff on all Canadian goods on day one when he returns to office,” Fox News reported.
“Trudeau told Trump he cannot levy the tariff because it would kill the Canadian economy completely. Trump replied, asking, ‘So your country can’t survive unless it’s ripping off the U.S. to the tune of $100 billion?’
“Trump then suggested to Trudeau that Canada become the 51st state, which caused the prime minister and others to laugh nervously,” according to two sources “at the table who heard the discussion.”
🚨Trump joked to Trudeau at Mar-a-Lago that if Canada can’t survive without ripping off the U.S. to the tune of $100 billion a year then maybe Canada should become the 51st state and Trudeau could become its governor. 🤣
pic.twitter.com/6jrzZoq4P5— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) December 3, 2024
Would you consider accepting Canada as a 51st state?
Trump, Fox News reported, told “Trudeau that prime minister is a better title, though he could still be governor of the 51st state.”
Someone then pointed out that Canada would be a liberal state, at which point Trump joked it could be split into a conservative one and a liberal one.
There hasn’t been discussion about annexing our friends to the north and turning their frozen tundra into an American state since the Clinton administration, when the two countries went to war over the Canadian comedians Terrance and Phillip turning the children of America into potty-mouths. However, that merely being the plot of the 1999 “South Park” movie, the only serious discussion about turning Canuckistan into U.S. property was back during the War of 1812.
That being said, if Trudeau can’t get border security together and can’t afford the costs of the tariffs if he doesn’t, why not? Trudeau is probably better suited to a governor’s role anyway, considering this is how bright the man is:
He wasn’t joking: Justin Trudeau interrupts woman during Q&A when she used the word “mankind.” He recommended that she say “peoplekind” instead. pic.twitter.com/mG61BlDcVU
— Andy Ngo 🏳️🌈 (@MrAndyNgo) February 5, 2018
This man-child apple fell pretty far from Pierre Elliott’s tree, in other words. As Ben Shapiro noted after that particular nugget of cringe, “Justin Trudeau is what would happen if the song ‘Imagine’ took human form and then ate a Tide Pod.”
Justin Trudeau is what would happen if the song “Imagine” took human form and then ate a Tide Pod.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) February 6, 2018
So, why not annexation? We have plenty of stupid governors in America. Justin wouldn’t only fit right in, but thrive.
The most populous state in our fair nation — which has only a million fewer people than Canada (38.9 million vs. 39.9 million) is run by oleaginous cretin Gavin Newsom, who somehow hasn’t managed to turn the place into a West Coast version of Haiti (yet, anyway) despite being on his second term.
In fact, the talent level of American governors is so low that not only is Tim Walz on his second term leading Minnesota, he got picked as Kamala Harris’ running mate!
And as for Kamala, rumors are she might be replacing the term-limited Newsom for her next gig despite her total implosion as both vice president and Democratic standard-bearer. Just when you thought the Golden State couldn’t reach any lower, it manages to surprise you. Heck, the last statewide politician not named Ronald Reagan I can remember that even seemed mildly competent in California was Sen. Walter Chalmers in the movie “Bullitt,” and he was 1) the villain and 2) wholly fictional.
In other words, if Canada can’t afford the $100 billion in tariffs to just secure its borders from drugs and illegal immigration, this would basically lift Trudeau from the dumbest tenth percentile of major world leaders to the most intelligent tenth percentile of Democratic governors. That’s a pretty plum gig for a guy who, if polls are correct, is probably going to get his maple leaf handed to him by the opposition the next time the country is scheduled to have elections in 2025, anyway.
So, what do you say, Justin? You had your chance to capitulate in the early 19th century. I’d say it’s aboot time.
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