As an alternative to their formal royal titles of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, I have an insulting — but supremely apt — alternative for Prince Harry and spouse Meghan inspired by Spotify executive and podcaster Bill Simmons: “The Grifters.”
Simmons, who worked with Harry and Meghan during their time at Spotify, said, following their departure from the streaming platform last year after completing just a handful of episodes of one show called “Archetypes,” that he “wish[ed] I had been involved in the Meghan and Harry-leaves-Spotify negotiations.”
“The Grifters” is a modestly modified version of a much more vulgar phrase Simmons actually used.
“‘The F***ing Grifters.’ That’s the podcast we should have launched with them,” Simmons said on an episode of his show, alluding his to working relationship with the Sussexes.
A bit of advice for Harry and Meghan: There’s still time to take him up on that offer, you know. Probably not at Spotify, but you can podcast pretty much anywhere in the world if you have enough money for the equipment and the talent and determination to follow through.
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The last part, alas, is why the Sussexes are again looking like grifters on a grand scale — this time after the duo’s Archewell Foundation charity was banned from raising money by the state of California, the U.K. Daily Mail reported on Monday.
The royals-watching news outlet reported that, according to records it had obtained, “the charitable foundation which was launched by the couple with much fanfare in 2020 was declared delinquent in January for not filing its annual registration renewal fee reports or renewal fee since February 2023.
“The foundation received a delinquency notice and warning of assessment penalties and late fees along with the threat of a suspension or revocation of its registered status from California’s Attorney General Rob Bonta earlier this month.”
The Daily Mail reported that the news comes just as the Sussexes wrapped up a tour of Nigeria in which the expansion of a partnership between the Archewell Foundation and an Abuja-based Nigerian charity was announced.
Would Harry’s life be better had he not married Meghan?
One hopes the Nigerian charity isn’t expecting any actual money to make that expansion happen, unless it comes out of the Sussexes’ own pockets.
“An organization that is listed as delinquent is not in good standing and is prohibited from engaging in conduct for which registration is required, including soliciting or disbursing charitable funds,” wrote California Attorney General Bonta in the May 3 letter published by the Daily Mail.
“The organization may also be subject to penalties and its registration may be suspended or revoked by the Registry.”
To be fair, the Daily Mail said it “understands that the foundation claims its check was unintentionally not included when the filings were made and has mailed a new one in hopes of swiftly resolving the problem.”
However, a paperwork snag isn’t the only problem the Archewell Foundation has at the moment, and more fundamental problems won’t be so swiftly resolved.
For instance, between 2021 and 2022, donations plummeted precipitously.
“The records showed that the charity received just over $2 million in charitable donations in 2022 compared to $13 million in 2021,” the Daily Mail reported.
That means the charity actually suffered a loss, given that its costs in 2022 tallied $2.67 million, the Daily Mail reported.
In spite of this, the executive director of the Archewell Foundation — who just so happens to be the couple’s U.K public relations director, James Holt — got salary of $277,405 for his work in leading the foundation to a $674,000 loss in 2022, according to the Daily Mail. That salary reportedly included a $20,000 bonus, because why lose just $654,000 in a financial year?
Furthermore, independent nonprofit watchdog CharityWatch said the foundation — which has a vague mandate to “meet the moment by showing up, taking action, and using our unparalleled spotlight to uplift and unite communities, both local and global, online and offline” — has “inadequate governance and transparency.” The group noted that there are only two board members for the foundation: Harry and Meghan.
“This is not in keeping with widely accepted best practices in the United States for nonprofit boards of directors, which generally advise a minimum board size of five to seven members,” CharityWatch reported. “Small boards run the risk of not representing a sufficiently broad public interest and of lacking the required skills and other resources required to effectively govern the organization.”
According to the foundation’s website, Archewell’s “mission is simple: show up, do good.”
The real purpose, if one is to judge by the Daily Mail’s report, turns out to be what the purpose of virtually everything Harry and Meghan embark on is: To earn them publicity until that publicity blows up in their face, at which point it’ll all be quickly scuttled and forgotten about. Hopefully, anyway.
Think about all the bilge the Sussexes have spewed at the world since ceasing to become “working royals,” none of which has prospered anyone except Harry, Meghan and their confederates. The Spotify deal, the interview with Oprah, that wretched tell-all memoir of Harry’s — all of it dominated a few news cycles before the idiocy or the hypocrisy became apparent.
At no point did the couple expend any great effort for either mankind, their supporters or their business associates.
It’s all been about the maximum level of publicity with the minimum amount of effort. Never mind the fact that the Sussexes have become the most loathed royals aside from Prince Andrew, a man linked to the two most notorious sex traffickers in modern history. And not only have they managed to do this without the involvement of Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell, they seem quite content with the attention they’re getting.
After all, fame and infamy have the same root word, right?
There’s still that podcast idea, Harry and Meghan. You don’t even have to use the vulgarism. “The Grifters” will do just fine. Episode one: An Archewell Foundation fundraiser.