Viewed through a dispassionate lens, Super Bowl LVIII was one of the best of the 58 championship games played, with the underdog Kansas City Chiefs winning over the San Francisco 49ers, 25-22 after a slow start to the contest:
The game was always close enough that every play was exciting. It was the second Super Bowl to go into overtime, the first under the new postseason overtime rules (where both teams get the ball, no matter who scores first) and a hard-fought battle won with a game-winning touchdown drive by a team that we can now safely call a dynasty.
There was, however, one huge, unnecessary distraction. Something that had nothing to do with football and was dumb as dust.
It’s something we could have all done without — and yet it was trending all over social media when football fans would rather have been discussing the game itself.
And no, it wasn’t a pop superstar who’s dating one of the players.
I’m talking about the shirtless idiots who ran onto the field at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas during the third quarter of the Super Bowl.
According to a post from Snapback Sports’ Jack Settleman, he saw two people rush the field in a state of semi-undress during the third quarter of the game:
We’ve got 2 fans on the field !!! pic.twitter.com/tOVsKuMmFP
— JACK SETTLEMAN (@jacksettleman) February 12, 2024
Was this funny to you?
There’s a bit of an error here since, no one who rushes the field during the Super Bowl is a “fan.” He or she is 1) not in compos mentis, 2) inebriated or 3) both.
Also, Settleman’s post might have been confusing in that he referred to “2 fans” but only one was visible in his video. A second man can be seen running on the field in videos below.
According to Sports Illustrated, Jim Nantz and Tony Romo quickly noted that at least one of the gentlemen involved was only a “partial streaker,” since he kept his pants on. (Romo didn’t make a prediction on which way the streaker was going to break next, though, which was a slight disappointment.)
As it turned out, both men kept their pants on, though both were shirtless.
That helped spur this response, which was pretty epic, I do have to admit:
Please tell me it was a drunk Jason Kelce.
— Chuck Reigle (@ReigleChuck) February 12, 2024
You may remember that during the AFC divisional playoff between the Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills, Jason Kelce — brother of Chiefs star Travis Kelce and an NFL player himself, for (naturally) the Philadelphia Eagles — decided that he was going to test the luxury box’s “no shirt, no shoes, no service” policy:
Okay, I just want each of you to know I’m rooting like hell for you. Whatever big, small, major or minor things you have on your plate, I am cheering like a shirtless Jason Kelce for you to win.
Go out there and be courageous, be bold, and be you. You got this! pic.twitter.com/gw31ZUOD3c
— Jerry The Younger (@JerryWyCo) February 5, 2024
Digital outlet Sportico, meanwhile, was a little less charitable, noting that the event “will be watched by more than 100 million people… so naturally there was an attempted streaker.”
The $SuperBowl will be watched by more than 100 million people… so naturally there was an attempted streaker.
The NFL spends years preparing for any and all security risks related to the Super Bowl. We laid out league’s plans for this year’s game at Las Vegas’ Allegiant… pic.twitter.com/oqMsTotKLM
— Sportico (@Sportico) February 12, 2024
And here’s another view, which shows one of the men being roughly tackled and the other being led off the field:
🚨#BREAKING: A streaker has ran onto the field during 3rd Quarter during the SuperBowl
Watch as a streaker dash onto the football field at the 10-yard line during the third quarter of the game at the 58th Super Bowl currently taking place in Las Vegas,… pic.twitter.com/v7ItUIkT4N
— R A W S A L E R T S (@rawsalerts) February 12, 2024
And another, which appears to show one of the men falling to the ground himself, then putting his arms behind his back, as if awaiting handcuffs:
Streakers just hit the field 😳 pic.twitter.com/a5yQQTr7W3
— OurSF49ers (@OurSf49ers) February 12, 2024
And another, which shows both men being taken off:
STREAKER pic.twitter.com/i6dVJ3kKXL
— Green Light with Chris Long (@greenlight) February 12, 2024
This represents probably 0.01 percent of the videos of these epic morons on X, Facebook and Instagram.
Perhaps those of you who have been whining about serious football fans getting annoyed with inordinate coverage being given to Taylor Swift during Kansas City Chiefs games are beginning to see why it can be somewhat, well, irksome to us.
I have no issue with Taylor Swift, aside from her politics. Nor, in fact, do I have an issue with Travis Kelce, who will go down as one of the greatest tight ends in NFL history.
If the Chiefs are now officially a dynasty — three Super Bowl wins and four appearances in five years, and the first team to repeat since the 2003-2004 New England Patriots — Kelce is probably the second-biggest part of that, aside from quarterback Patrick Mahomes. They might as well start on his Hall of Fame bust now.
The issue becomes when, after every four-yard completion from Mahomes to Kelce, the camera cuts away to Swift. Another play, this one a three-yard run by Mahomes. Kelce wasn’t involved. Let’s still have a cut to Swift. Time out. Cut to Swift. Repeat ad nauseam.
If you’re a Taylor Swift fanatic, let me remind you that there’s no shortage of TayTay ephemera out there in the digital ether to keep yourself entertained. Why she even has albums you can listen to instead of watching a sport you probably have only a passing interest in.
Likewise, no one but immature fools wants to watch 327 videos of immature fools being hauled off a field they had no business being on in the first place.
But the videos kept popping up because the world is awash in immature fools, particularly the digital world. And that’s why well-lubricated, potentially unbalanced people like these two men decided to charge the field during the game. Fame, infamy — what’s the difference, right?
The difference is that, absent a major turn-around in life priorities, this is likely the height of these cretins’ fame during their time on earth. Other than that, both are inconvenient and unnecessary distractions to an otherwise fantastic Super Bowl.
