Green was the color, 5 was the number and if there had been a symbolic image, it would have been a teardrop.
With the North Fork in deep mourning over the death of Dylan Newman, the 18-year-old who succumbed Sept. 20 after a his five-year battle with cancer, Saturday at Southold High School was much more than homecoming 2022. It was a sports-themed memorial for the popular former Southold baseball and basketball player whose courage, spirit and kindness was legendary. His loss cut through the community and the pain was real.
That accounted for the subdued atmosphere that hung like a heavy heart over the three varsity sporting events and alumni soccer game that were played, each preceded by a moment of silence for Newman.
The high school’s front entrance area had the aura of a memorial, with messages inscribed on a walkway in green and white chalk. Among them: “TEAM DYLAN 4EVER”; “Fly high angel and 4ever in our ?s”; “#5 We miss you #5 Dylan.”
Green was Newman’s favorite color and 5 his favorite number.
Brilliant sunshine and pillowy white clouds outlined against a beautiful blue sky greeted a day on which Southold dedicated its athletic grounds to the community and unveiled three new tennis courts adjacent to four existing courts. But memories of Newman were undeniably predominant amid the shared grief.
A green “5” balloon sat atop green balloons that fluttered in the breeze alongside red and white balloons representing the school’s colors. People wore green ribbons and green Team Dylan pullovers.
“Dylan’s a special kid,” said Chatty Allen of Greenport, a longtime family friend. “There was something about him that people are just drawn to, and right now I feel like a piece of my heart is gone with him not being here physically, but yet he is here. He’s here in all of us, in all of these children.”
As impressive as the community’s heartfelt response was, virtually no one asked about it was surprised.
“Everyone’s hurting, you know,” noted Southold graduate Brendan Duffy, a SUNY/Oneonta freshman baseball player who said he was Newman’s best friend. “Dylan, you know, he touched everyone. You know, he just had such an impact on this whole community. You know, right now, everyone’s bleeding green.”
“This has affected the whole North Fork community,” he added. “Everyone loved him. There was not a single person that, you know, had any ill feelings towards Dylan.”
Tom Cardi, 18, of Southold, another former baseball teammate of Newman’s, said: “Everyone loved him and he loved everyone, too. He didn’t have a bad bone in his body.”
Since the day in 2018 when Newman was first diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma, a rare type of bone cancer, the community has rallied behind him and his family with Team Dylan, putting on fundraisers and providing emotional support. Through it all, though, Newman maintained his trademark smile and, as much as possible, didn’t let his treatment interfere with school, training and sports.
Connor Wilinski, a former Southold baseball player who graduated last year, said Newman was there the first time he stepped on a baseball field. “It didn’t matter who you were,” Wilinski said. “He was open to meeting new people and he was nice to every single person he ever met.”
Photos by Jeremy Garretson
Mei Reilly, a Southold senior who plays for the Mattituck/Southold/Greenport girls soccer team, had “DN” and “5” painted in green on either cheek. Newman’s passing, she said, “was a shocker.” She said: “He was a local town hero. Everybody knew him.”
Her coach, Chris Golden, said everyone is connected in some way on the North Fork, “so when something like this happens, we all feel, we feel the hurt and the pain.”
Mike Carver, the Southold/Greenport girls tennis coach and Southold Junior High School social studies teacher, said: “Southold, being such a tight-knit community, they always rally together with things like this. It’s truly one of the special things being here.”
Newman’s grandmother Liz Gordon of Southold has been taken aback by the outpouring of support. “This is unimaginable,” she said. “I have no words to describe the amount of love that this community showed my family and Dylan, but Dylan was a great kid. I never heard anybody say anything bad about him.”
Southold athletic director Steve Flanagan said: “It’s heartbreaking. It happened fast. I think, you know, people knew that he was sick for a while, but it happened very quickly. And, yeah, it’s crushing. It’s crushing for our community.”
Southold’s superintendent of schools, Dr. Anthony Mauro, grew up in Westchester and lives in Commack. On the North Fork, he said, “there’s a uniqueness when it comes to the closeness of communities out here that you don’t see in other places.”
Gordon, decked out in green, said her grandson didn’t want to be known as the kid who has cancer.
“Anytime you asked him, his famous words were, ‘I’m fine,’ ” she said. “And up until the end, he waited for one of his last good friends to come, Tate [Klipstein], and he did and then he went. So right now he’s up there playing baseball and driving his Jeep. And when I go, I’m gonna have field-level box seats right there.”
In his remarks during a Tuesday celebration of Newman’s life at First Presbyterian Church in Southold, Wilinski said, “On my way home a week ago, I knew he was close [to death], but he waited all day for a couple of us, down to the wire, and that showed me pure toughness that he would do that for us, and that was the greatest gift that he could have given me.”
Newman’s parents, Tanya and Todd, sat with their daughter, Kelsey, during the service. Before kissing his son’s coffin, Todd Newman said, “We mourn Dylan now, but I will celebrate him and we will celebrate him the rest of our lives because he has changed so many lives and made such an impact, and I couldn’t be prouder to call him my son.”