‘Highly Intoxicated’ Florida Woman Arrested After Pitchfork Attack, Says ‘God Was in Control’

A Florida woman was jailed Tuesday after an incident that involved a whip, a pitchfork and teddy bears.

And a minivan was stabbed.

The story began when the Florida Highway Patrol was summoned to a Publix grocery store in Minneola, Florida, on Tuesday at about 2 p.m., according to the New York Post.

The store manager said a woman was trying to sell teddy bears behind the store.

But that wasn’t all. The woman, state troopers were told, had stabbed a minivan with a pitchfork and was walking around with a black whip.

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The owner of the minivan did not press charges and said he would pay for the damages himself, but police still wanted to speak with the woman, Lisa Slone, 56.

When a trooper told her to drop the pitchfork, she did not obey and walked away but was taken into custody by force, according to the Post.

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After Slone was put in the back seat of a police car, she allegedly unbuckled her seat belt and began to kick at the rear window.

That effort resulted in her feet being placed in a device called a hobble.

Because she had cuts and bruises all over, troopers wanted to know what had taken place.

The response, according to the police report, was that “she felt no pain anymore and that God was in control,” the Post reported.

Slone “appeared to be highly intoxicated on some sort of stimulant drug but did not have any odor of alcoholic beverage,” according to the police report.

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Slone was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, which is a third-degree felony.

As of Thursday, she was still in Lake County Jail with bond posted at $2,000.

The Post said Slone has had previous arrests, for petit theft and probation violation.



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